I am at a bar on the Lower East Side. Since I'm nearsighted, I can't see too well in dark bars, but I don't wear my glasses in public.
A tall man with mucky-colored brown hair catches my eye. He looks slightly familiar, but I can hardly see clearly the straw in front of my face. I bow my head down to take a sip of my cranberry vodka. Straw goes up my nose.
"Woah, cool ring. Looks like a plate," the man comments.
I turn to him, and it is Seth Meyers from SNL.
"He's totally hitting on you!" My dumb blond friend whispers to me, elbowing me in the stomach.
No, he just thinks he's cool, I decide.
"Thanks! Your shirt looks..uhh..wrinkly," I respond to Seth Meyers. I didn't know what else to say (because it is in fact really wrinkly - wrinkles are my pet peeve).
Seth Meyers turns on his heel and walks away, giggling like a schoolgirl.
End result: I am so incredibly awkward.
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